Weapons Of Mass Destruction Found
Baghdad, Iraq - The weapons of mass destruction were found today in Baghdad. The weapons were discovered wrapped in aluminum foil in the back of the freezer at Saddam Hussein's former palace residence. Hussein's cook, Ali Ali Aksenfree, admits to having neglected to label the weapons properly when he put them into the freezer several years ago. "I put them in there and I didn't do a good job of writing on the outside," he said. "I thought they were leftover lamb kebabs, and I just sort of forgot about them."
The mistake was discovered when the kitchen staff decided to defrost the freezer. The discovery of the frozen weapons of mass destruction prompted a complete search of the former palace. Other weapons of mass destruction were soon found in the bottom of an old purse with a tear in the lining, behind a bookcase, between the sofa cushions, in a drawer containing incomplete sets of hex keys, various sized screws and unused wooden paint stirrers, in the shed between the gas can and the old lawn sprinkler, and wedged under the front seat of the car. A box in the attic at first appeared to be a cache of WMDs but was later determined to be filled with mothballs, slightly stained baby clothes and glass baby bottles.
All weapons of mass destruction have been placed in clearly labeled, sealed Tupperware containers and organized on shelves in the basement. A sticky note on the refrigerator reminds all personnel of the WMD new storage location.
"We are so embarrassed" said Mr. Aksenfree, "Sorry for causing such a fuss. I promise we won't lose them again!"
Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko