Bin Laden Enrollment CIA Plot
Syracuse, NY - Syracuse University Chancellor Nancy Cantor today revealed that the enrollment of Osama bin Laden in the school was the result of a CIA plot.
"Osama bin Laden himself did not enroll," said Chancellor Cantor, "but was enrolled by those outside the University." When asked to speculate as to the CIA's motives in enrolling the international terrorist, Ms. Cantor shook her head and replied, "I have no earthly idea."
Although CIA officials denied having any involvement in enrolling the 9/11 mastermind at any American school of higher learning, a CIA agent involved in the ruse explained the action.
"Look," said the CIA agent, who declined to be identified, "I went to Syracuse University. If there is one thing I know, it is that the SU Alumni Association will track you down. They've been after me for 35 years and I've never given them one red cent. I've changed addresses many, many times trying to get away but that doesn't stop them, dammit. The SU Alumni Association will hunt you down until you die. Then they'll probably go after your grandchildren. They are relentless."
"This is the 7th anniversary of 9/11," continued the CIA agent,"yet, we still don't have bin Laden. So, we enrolled him at SU. Once the Alumni Association finds out he's graduated, it won't be long; they'll find him."