Rules For Living In Post-Democratic America

The following is a list of rules released by the White House to help American citizens cope with the day-to-day realities of life in post-democratic America.

1. Make sure your papers are in order and that your membership dues in the Republican Party are current.

2. Never speak the President's name in vain.

3. Report all disloyal family members and friends to your local Republican Party precinct commander.

4. Always have a portrait of the President hanging next to the American flag in a prominent location in your home.

5. Remember that the government is wise and all knowing and that you should trust it the way a child trusts his parents.

6. Be a good consumer for consumerism is next to godliness.

7. Never stay out after curfew unless you have special dispensation from your local Republican Party precinct commander.

8. Do not look government officials directly in the eye and bow in their presence to show your obedience and respect.

9. Begin every morning by reciting your allegiance to the President.

10. Never question any official government edict or authority.

By following these simple rules you will be on your way to a happy and productive life as a citizen of the United States of America version 2.0.