19 Percent Think Country Is On the Right Track

Princeton, New Jersey - A recent Harris poll has reported that only 19% of those questioned feel the country is "on the right track." The representative sampling of public opinion, with a +/- 2% variance, shows that the vast majority of Americans do not feel the country is headed in the right direction.

"Not only is the the country not on the right track, we're glued to the third rail and the midday express is roaring around the bend," said John Tucker, President of The Model Railroad Association of America. "All the little plastic trees are dying from pollution and all the little wooden houses were washed away by Katrina. The signals don't work because they are under the direction of a political appointee who thinks electricity is the work of the devil, the choo-choo noise sounds funny because it is chanted by a group of Christian evangelists who think that the steam engine works by the breath of angels, and the train itself doesn't have an engineer because he was waiting to get his training in September and now there isn't going to be any more September. I can't even get the little plastic cows and sheep to eat the plastic grass because they all died from eating pet food from China. The richest agricultural country in the world and we're getting pet food all the way from China. Does that make any sense to you? It doesn't to me."

The Harris poll reports that the 19% approval rating for the country is the lowest since 1992, the end of the elder Bush's presidency.

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko