Bush Declares Martial Law on (fill in date & time)
America (previously known as the land of the free and home of the brave) - In preparation for the eventual declaration of martial law that is widely expected sometime before January 2009, the Bush administration recently released an executive order in which President Bush gave himself the power to seize the assets of any American citizen he feels is interfering with his policy in Iraq. This asset seizure includes bank accounts, property and all personal belongings.
With this latest unprecedented maneuver to silence critics and keep allies in line, Bush has alarmed even die hard conservative Republicans such as Bruce Fein and Paul Craig Roberts who feel all but certain that, in an attempt to maintain power and avoid prosecution, both President Bush and Vice President Cheney will find or fabricate a reason to institute martial law before the next administration is scheduled to assume office.
It is expected that all of the major media outlets will continue to work in coordination with the Bush administration in much the same manner they helped to promote and cosponsor the war in Iraq. With the Supreme Court already acting in complete unison with Karl Rove and the Republican party and the ineffectual responses from the Democrats in Congress who are still learning what it means to be an opposition party, it would appear that the United States is well on its way to becoming a post-democratic form of authoritarian rule.
Therefore, Assimilated Press has decided to sponsor a contest, The Bush Martial Law Lottery. Simply choose the date and time you believe President George W. Bush will formally declare martial law and suspend what is left of the Constitution. Also, feel free to provide any additional comments along with your lottery answer (all in the comments section please). The winner of The Bush Martial Law Lottery will receive the acknowledgment and praise of their freedom-loving peers.
Martial law and the suppression of dissent doesn't have to be a complete downer. Let's have some fun as we watch our Constitution disappear in the sunset.
Everyone is invited to participate except President Bush, Vice President Cheney and their immediate family members.