Wednesday, October 17, 2007

All Non-Christians Ordered To Register With Authorities

Washington, D.C. - President George W. Bush today signed an executive order instructing all non-Christian residents of the United States to report for registration at their closest Wal-Mart. There they will be given the option of accepting Jesus which will entitle them to a free order of French fries in the cafeteria followed by immediate release from custody. If they refuse to accept Jesus, they will then be forced to undergo a lengthy registration process which will include an indefinite stay at a regional Halliburton Luxury Resort & Spa.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if Mormons will be considered already Christians or not? I guess it depends on who the Decider decides should decide.


7:24 AM  
Anonymous GeorgiaBlue said...

Good point, kb. According to the teachings of Bob Jones, Catholics aren't considered Christians either but I bet they make a special exemption for Scalia, Roberts, Alito, Kennedy and Thomas.

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like Evangelical Christians are the only ones who can get into the Kingdom of Heaven as real Amerikans. Corn dogs and cotton candy for all eternity.

10:02 AM  
Anonymous joe said...

They were serving Freedom fries when I registered at my local Wal-Mart

7:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suppose Dumbya will appoint Ann Coulter to run the camps and oversee the "showers".

We must fight for our freedom, everyone!

10:32 AM  

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