Monday, August 07, 2006

President Bush Is A Bed Wetter

Washington, D.C. - A new shocking tell-all book by George W. Bush's childhood nanny claims that the president wet his bed throughout his entire adolescence and beyond. In fact, evidence has been produced that shows Bush's bed wetting continued unabated throughout his college years. At Yale, his problem was so severe that his fraternity brothers gave him the nickname "Pee Wee Wee" which they jokingly used to mock him about his small stature and propensity for soiling sheets.

Bush's nanny, Cynthia Johnson, said, "He was an awful bed wetter. I don't think a morning went by that he didn't wake up in his own urine. It just drove his mother Barbara crazy. Why, I remember her hanging his soaking wet sheets out of his window to try to shame it out of him. It didn't work. nothing worked. He was born a bed wetter and he will die a bed wetter."

Johnson's words seem to be accurate as sources close to the First Family have informed Assimilated Press that Laura Bush has not slept in the same bed with the president for many years due to his affliction. Laura was once heard to remark to a close friend, "You don't know what it's like to wake up next to a man who is drenched in his own piss. I just couldn't take it any longer."

When asked about this controversy, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said he could not comment out of concern for national security.

9 Comments:

Blogger Robbie said...

LOL, LOL, FOFL.

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Pinko said...

Psychology Today, August 2006, Cover

"Bush and Bedwetting, New Orleans and Katrina - Does Moisture Paralyze The President With Shame?"

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll bet that little pinhead suffers bouts of daytime incontinence too. He did write a note to Condi during one White House conference that he was going to need a potty break. I'll bet you the White House staff is hiding the fact that one of the Secret Service's responsibilities for his management is to make sure he has extra pants and frequents the water closet on a schedule that will prevent him from flooding his incontinent breifs. This guy is worse than a betsy-westy doll, though not quite as bright.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Morons!!!!!

6:34 PM  
Blogger xoites said...

Bedwetting may be associated whit being a weak person or having some kind of personality problem but i have read it can ofet be due to an allergy to something in someone's diet.

What kills me is that if this story is true (and i am not convinced) it could mean that this President is over compensating with very bad behavior.

Someday we may actually be able to prevent megalomania through proper diet. Imagine that!

7:30 PM  
Blogger Soldatensender said...

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2862/3325/1600/chuckie_duhbya.jpg

10:34 PM  
Anonymous Heart of Fire said...

No such book listed at amazon.com

I wondered about this as "Virt" did not give the name of the book or the publisher.

You are going to get in trouble if you are as credulous as the Bushies.

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

peeeeeee booooo. on him is that why Condi smells 2

10:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do I recall correctly that the "triad of sociopathy" is bed wetting, fire starting and torturing animals? George gets curiouser and curiouser, don't he?

11:00 AM  

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