A Uniter, Not A Divider

New York - President Bush has finally acheived his campaign goal of being "a uniter, not a divider." Over 81% of Americans now say the country is seriously off-track.

Professor Martin Ostrowsky, dean of sociology at Betterin U, is enthusiastic about President Bush's acheivement. "It's just amazing," said Dr. Ostrowsky, "I can't remember a time when the country was practically unanimous about a political leader before. Bush has managed to do what no one has. He's brought all Americans of all political persuasions, ages, and economic class together as one, united in our belief that Bush really, really stinks. Big time. Is this a great country or what?"