Sunday, June 29, 2008

New Feature: Messages From The Other Side

Using the newest cutting edge communication technology, Assimilated Press is now the only news organization to have the ability to receive messages from the dead.

By virtue of an experimental device called the Postmortem Receiver, Assimilated Press is now able to access letters and statements created by individuals from the other side. We will be releasing these communications from the dead as we receive them.

Presently, communication using the Postmortem Receiver is one-sided but we are hoping that will change shortly with another device under development called the Postmortem Transmitter that will allow us to interview the dead when used in tandem with the Postmortem Receiver.

Stay tuned!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't imagine you'll be able to hear from any of our Founding Fathers. It's probably too hard for them to talk while they're spinning.


3:45 PM  

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