Daily Show in Cheney Payoff Scandal

Assimilated Press has confirmed rumors of a payoff scheme between The Daily Show's Jon Stewart and former Vice President Dick Cheney.

Cheney, who has recently gone on record accusing the Obama Administration of opening up America to increased attacks from terrorists, was seen pocketing a large check from a Daily Show staffer.

The image, caught by telephoto lens by independent journalist Andy Borowitz, shows a Daily Show intern, disguised as a Republican, waiting outside a television studio holding a sign saying "We Love Our Dick" and standing in line to shake the former Vice President's hand.

Assimilated Press' crack team of photoanalysts have examined the image and verified that the paper being pocketed by Cheney is a check made out for $100,000, signed by Jon Stewart, with the note on the lower left hand side of the check reading "for services rendered."

Daily Show alumnus and Jon Stewart associate, Stephen Colbert, staunchly denies the charges, but concedes "there is an element of truthiness" about the rumor.

"After all, Dick Cheney was the greatest thing that ever happened to American satire," said Mr. Colbert. "How often do you get to riff your comedy off a true evil genius who's so totally in charge of the biggest devaluation of American ideals in recorded history?"

" Now, I'm not saying that there really is any truth to the rumors that Jon [Stewart] is trying to keep Cheney in play, " continued Mr. Colbert, "but hey, I mean, who heard from Walter Mondale after his term was over? What happened to Dan Quayle? To let Cheney just go quietly off into that good night - what a waste!"

Sorry - Another "Not Funny"

There is an article on Raw Story about the use of Federal troops for routine police business (directing traffic) in Samson, Alabama after a mass murder shooting.

According to Raw Story the Army is investigating whether proper authorization was obtained and whether protocol was followed prior to federal troops being deployed within our domestic borders.

The concern seems to be that the Posse Comitatus Act prohibiting the use of troops within the US was violated.

If only that were the real issue.

The Posse Comitatus Act of 1878 was essentially voided by the Bush Administration in 2006.

In that year the Insurrection Act [10 U.S.C.331 -335) was susperceded by the passage of Public Law 109-364, or the "John Warner Defense Authorization Act of 2007" (H.R.5122) which allows the President to declare a "public emergency" (to be defined by the Executive without Congressional approval) allowing the President to take control of state troops (without a Governor's approval) and to deploy federal troops within domestic borders to contain “public disorder” (again to be defined by the Executive alone)*

The sad fact is that once power is ceded to the Executive Branch, the Executive - no matter who the occupant or which party the occupier- is loath to give it back.

Whether proper protocols were followed in the use of federal troops within our domestic borders recently as in the case of Samson. Alabama is a fairly minor point.

The much larger issue is that this option is now legal.


*See also, Congressional Research Service Report for Congress, "The Use of Federal Troops for Disaster Assistance: Legal Issues," by Jennifer K. Elsea, Legislative Attorney, August 14, 2006)