Senator Rockefeller Offers Amnesty To Himself
Washington, D.C. - In a highly unusual move for a sitting member of congress, Senator John D. Rockefeller of West Virginia today offered himself and his entire staff amnesty which he included in the newly revised FISA bill. This amnesty is meant to cover any and all criminal activities he and his staff may have engaged in such as the taking of bribes and the violation of his oath of office to protect the Constitution.
In response to criticism over this action, Rockefeller stated, "Hell, I was thinking why shouldn't I give myself and my staff amnesty. I mean, I'm doing it for the telecommunications companies and they've violated way more laws than I have. Anyway, let's get real here. This is America, the law isn't meant to apply to people like me and our benefactors. Laws are only for ordinary people who are like little children who need to be spanked now and then."