Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Armageddon USA Opens In South Carolina

Charleston, South Carolina - Families can now enjoy the fun, thrills and excitement of Armageddon in an amazing reenactment of the violent destruction of the world at America's newest amusement park, Armageddon USA. At this state of the art facility, visitors will be treated to graphic displays of nonbelievers being torn to pieces by pitchfork toting angels bent on heavenly revenge. And, the children will cheer as mighty crusading armies of righteousness slay all in their path as they march forever forward to the golden gates of the New Kingdom.

Fortunately, the fun doesn't stop there. This 45 acre park comes equipped with plenty of rides, such as the very popular Holy Moses roller coaster that parts the Red Sea as you flee from Pharaoh's army. Of course, no trip to Armageddon USA would be complete without getting your very own personally signed autograph from the animatronic likeness of Jesus Christ, sure to impress all of your friends and family.

Finally, after a long day of rides and general merriment, you can stop at the End Times Bar & Grill for a nice meal before heading home. A word of advice, for dessert, skip the devil's food cake and order the paradise peach pie instead.


Anonymous Equinox said...

LOL. Another great one, Virt!

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Cliff Hangar said...

This is hysterical! I check this site first thing every morning, love starting my day with a laugh!

9:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


And you can get in for half-price if you show them your autographed copy of one of the Left Behind series????


10:58 AM  
Anonymous Pinko said...

This is for real, check it out. The Dow Jones equivalent for high-tech, savvy True Believers as they countdown to Armageddon.

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Charlotte is in North Carolina!

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very good Armegeddon S.C., comments. Better to fight them over there than here.

11:42 AM  

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