Bush Praises Global Warming

Washington, D.C. - Fighting back against critics who claim that his administration is encouraging global warming through its oil company friendly policies, President Bush stated today in an impromptu news conference, "Why is everyone treatin' global warming as a bad thing? It's not. It's a good thing. First off, global warming is good for the economy. Sales of air conditioners, fans, and suntan lotions are way up. Second, people don't have to go to Florida or Arizona for their winter vacations. Pretty soon they will be able to stay in Chicago, Minneapolis, or New Jersey all year round and still be able to enjoy the warm sunny weather. Who could possibly be against that? And most important, don't we all want a world that is a little warmer and a lot less colder?"

There was no response from critics of the president who were uncharacteristically speechless.