The Resurrection Of Mel
Malibu, California - On the third day after his arrest, Mel Gibson has arisen from his drunken hate-filled, obscenity-laced, misogynistic, anti-Semitic rants as a new man, reborn, repentant and cleansed of all sin. This new improved Mel, formulated, processed and fabricated by Hill & Knowlton, one of the best known marketing and public relations firms in the world, is a vastly upgraded version that no longer carries the baggage of his pre-resurrection life.
The freshly arisen Mel, in a gesture of solidarity with the Jewish people, has been circumcised and has taken to drinking Manischewitz wine in place of Tequila. He has also adopted a strict kosher diet with a particular fondness for kreplach. Furthermore, in his next project he will play Tevya in a Malibu production of Fiddler on the Roof.
Said Victoria Clark of Hill & Knowlton, "That Mel, he is such a mensch."