Rush Limbaugh Causes Frightening Increase In Flatulence

Rochester, Minnesota - A study recently completed by the Mayo Clinic showed that people who listen to Rush Limbaugh are twenty times more likely to suffer from severe flatulence. However, researchers could not determine if this was the direct result of Limbaugh's radio broadcast or if the people who are drawn to Limbaugh have a predisposition for this gastrointestinal condition.

In a related study conducted by the University of Southern California (USC), researchers discovered that, after cows, Limbaugh's audience created more methane gas than any other natural source. Professor Ridgeway of USC said, "There is no doubt that Rush Limbaugh and his followers are a danger to the environment because of their excessive flatulence."