Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Mel Gibson Claims He Is Being Crucified

Malibu, California - A visibly agitated Mel Gibson today struck out against the media for reporting the facts of his arrest and said that he was being crucified simply because he is a hate-filled, misogynistic, anti-Semite with delusions of omnipotence. Said Gibson to the assembled news organizations gathered outside his ocean front residence, "F*** you all! You're all F***ing Jews. You too, sugar tits. You're nailing me to the f***ing cross just like you did Jesus. Yeah, I'm a hate-filled, misogynistic, anti-Semite with delusions of omnipotence. So f***ing what?"

When a reporter informed Gibson that Jesus was a Jew as was Mary, Gibson appeared momentarily stunned and then said "Well, f*** Jesus then! And f*** Mary too!"

In a related development, the Malibu police department denied that there was any favoritism or corruption involved in the preferential treatment Gibson received. Said Sheriff Lee Baca, "Mel Gibson was treated the same way every millionaire who gives me thousands of dollars is treated."

4 Comments:

Anonymous Cliff Hangar said...

Great stuff, Virt! I look forward to my daily dose of laughter here.

9:31 AM  
Blogger nunya said...

Dude,
the Huffpost plug was a little much, eh? I'm amazed that people are taking this soooooo seriously. There must be a lot of people out there who don't know any alcoholics.

7:53 PM  
Blogger FaulknA said...

Too true. Too true.

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Jon said...

Oh crap, I didn't read the "I'm being crucified" part and the remark about F.... Jesus and Mary because they were Jews.

It is ALSO very important, not to forget the disgusting sexist remarks he made to the female officers. I personally thing the "sugar ti*s" remark was especially classy. :-)

It is SOOOOOOOOOOOO true that Mel is/was concerned for Mel and Mel only. This multi-millionaire said "I'm Fuc***". Accent on the "I'm". He didn't think to say "I'm so sorry and embarresed about my behavior", "I'm sorry for terrible inconvenience and insulting remarks I made to you", "Officer's thank you so much for the respectful treatment you gave me. Thanks also for not putting me in handcuffs or charging me with resisting arrest." ]

Nope, old Mel thought he was being crucified.

Jon

11:51 PM  

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