Saturday, August 05, 2006

Pledge Of Allegiance Now Mandatory In USA

Washington, D.C. - Today, the Congress passed and the President signed legislation requiring every man, women and child in the United States to begin each and every day with a recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance. This new law is meant to instill in Americans of all ages the importance of liberty and of being able to freely state your love and undying obedience to the country.

As required by the new act, schools and places of employment will set aside a few minutes each day for their students and employees to stand in unison for the pledge. Failure to stand and recite the pledge will lead to a one-week suspension from school for students. Employees who fail to stand and recite the pledge will be docked one week's wages. Repeat violations will lead to an extended stay at the nearest Halliburton Luxury Resort & Spa.

Also, to ensure universal enforcement, citizens who report the noncompliance of this law by their neighbors, friends and relatives will receive a substantial financial reward. If you know someone who is failing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance on a daily basis please contact the Office of Allegiance at the United States Department of Justice in Washington, D.C. Your identity will be kept secret and all rewards will be paid within 30 days.


Blogger FaulknA said...

I'm unemployed and broke so how much is the reward? I'll turn myself in because there's NFW I'll ever do that shit.

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With or without the "under God" ?

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Pinko said...

Today on "Jerry Springer": "He's No Good In Bed Unless I Say The Pledge" - men who can't perform unless a woman is reciting our country's Pledge of Allegiance.

Jerry: Trisha you say that Jim can't perform in bed unless you say the Pledge of Allegiance?

Trisha: That's right, Jerry. I've got to keep saying it over and over again, even while we're, you know..

Jerry: Even during the act itself?

Trisha: Uh huh, right through the whole thing. And any time he HEARS the Pledge he gets all excited. It gets so I can't take him to potluck at the VFW Hall. It's just disgusting, and I'm not going to put up with it anymore! (Applause)

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Captain Sunshine said...

I was in junior high school when "under God" was added to the pledge. I have never spoken that phrase aloud, and I never will. As things are going, I am getting less and less willing to recite the rest of the pledge. The whole concept of enforced utterances of patriotically "acceptable" sentiment are odious. I have not previously, to my discredit, subjected the pledge to appropriate discriminative analysis, instead parroting the words as learned in my childhood (sans "under God"). I can do better.

8:26 PM  
Anonymous said...

you people are liars. this is an option and a chance to honor our country and the GOD that deserves your praise. You are sicko's, trying to make this appear to be a command, why don't you ask your congressman for the actual law, dummies. Proud to be an american & yes I will salute our flag and praise our God. Nancy o.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ubskweqtwhy don't you all cancel this disgusting site. you are ruining our kids with this garbage. try the truth

8:17 AM  

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