Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Sex Scandal Strikes Senator Santorum & Springer Spaniel

Washington, D.C. - Senator Rick Santorum, who was recently defeated in his reelection bid, now has more serious problems than his pending unemployment. At approximately 3 AM this Tuesday morning, on the grounds of the Capital Mall, he was discovered having sex with an English Springer Spaniel by the National Park Police. To make matters worse for Santorum, the dog did not have a license and was not on a leash.

Literally caught with his pants down, Santorum was arrested and charged with lewd conduct. Yet to be determined is whether or not the sex was consensual. If Santorum forced himself on the unwilling purebred then he may face additional charges as well as civil sanctions from the SPCA.

Experts from the American Kennel Club say that the English Springer Spaniel has a reputation for being an affectionate dog that is eager to please its masters.

3 Comments:

Anonymous pinko said...

from Variety:

Pooch Smooch Hootchie-Kooch!

Jerry, the Springer Spaniel recently caught making bow-wow doggy-style with Senator Rick Santorum, reveals all in an exclusive interview with his owner Michael Jones of Denver.

Michael Jones brought Jerry to D.C. after recently seeing "The Little Dog Laughed" at the Cort Theater in New York City. "Little Dog" is a play about a gay Hollywood star, the male escort who wins his heart and the talent agent who tries to keep it all a secret.

"I thought, hey, that's show biz", said Mr. Jones, thinking of a tie-in to the Rick Santorum famous "man on dog" interview with the Associated Press on 4/7/06 and the possibilities of getting Jerry a slot in the upcoming musical version of "Little Dog."

Knowing that Sen. Santorum had a particular fondness for dogs with long pendant ears and kind eyes, Mr. Jones brought Jerry to the D.C. Mall merely to introduce him to Sen. Santorum and discuss obtaining the Senator's financial backing for Jerry's theatrical career.

Unfortunately, the dog got loose but in a perfect Hollywood moment, fate intervened and Jerry and Sen. Santorum met cute.

D.C. police said that prior to being apprehended Sen. Santorum was overheard asking Jerry, "Are you a good boy? Are you a good boy? You're a good boy, yes, you are!Yes, you are! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! You are! You are!"

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Wonder George said...

I always heard that Senator Santorum prefered man-on-dog to man-on-woman, or even gay relations.

Now I know it's true!

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

here are
Complications of sexually transmitted disease

2:11 AM  

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