Friday, November 03, 2006

Brit Hume Is A North Korean Mole

New York, New York - A recent defector from the North Korean government has told investigators that Fox News personality Brit Hume is a mole planted by the North Koreans to sabotage American society and weaken the unity and resolve of the American people through misinformation and polarizing speech. The defector said, "Planting Brit Hume at Fox News was a stroke of genius by Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il. We gave Hume invective speeches to read over the air which would serve to alienate the American people and cause disunity. This was very effective."

The defector continued, "The North Korean intelligence agencies were also very pleased with the information Brit Hume was able to pass on to us because of his close contacts and frequent visits to the White House. We knew everything the White House was planning. We were always one step ahead of them thanks to Hume and Fox News."

When asked why Brit Hume would agree to be an enemy agent for the North Korean government, the defector replied "Because we, the North Koreans, groomed him from his youth. When our intelligence services first found Hume, he was a 22 year old heroin addict living on the streets of Philadelphia. We cleaned him up, educated him and offered him a great deal of money and some of the most beautiful prostitutes in the world. Since then, he has been one of our best weapons. Look at what he has accomplished. Americans are not united. They are fighting each other and there is no longer a rational debate in America, just anger and recrimination. All of this, thanks to Brit Hume and Fox News."

Calls to Fox News by Assimilated Press requesting a response to this story have not been returned.

2 Comments:

Anonymous pinko said...

"Brit Hume is a North Korean Mole" - no, he's just an all-American weasel....

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Shasta Blue said...

Hey Pinko, you're insulting weasels.

11:38 PM  

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