Bush Fails To Find Ass With Both Hands

Washington, D.C. - Today, during a joint press conference with Russian president Vladimir Putin, President Bush lashed out at his critics who have said that "he is so incompetent, he couldn't find his ass with both hands."

In an angry attempt to refute these detractors, the president raised his hands and shouted out to the assembled reporters that he was capable of finding his ass with both hands and he was going to prove it. Bush then proceeded to fumble around for several minutes, first touching his knees, then his elbows, then his stomach and finally his head, but alas, no ass.

Unable to contain himself, Putin shouted to Bush, "George, look behind you. That's where you'll find your ass."

The president then turned completely around to look at what was behind him and seeing nothing said, "Damn, I can't find it, Pooty Poot,"

Shaking his head in frustration, Putin replied "Well, it was there a minute ago."