Monday, August 06, 2007

Bush Publicly Defecates On Constitution

Washington, D.C. - Today, in a brazen display of his absolute power, President Bush instructed his aides to place the original copy of the Constitution on the lawn of the Rose Garden. Then, in front of the entire White House press core, Bush pulled down his pants, squatted and proceeded to defecate on America's most precious document. When the president finished, he pulled up his pants and proclaimed, "Our form of government is over 200 years old. We need something new."

Reaction from members of Congress was swift and overwhelmingly favorable. Senator McCain, speaking for most Republicans, said "President Bush is my kind of leader. What he says makes sense. 200 years is a long time. Besides, what is the Constitution anyway? It's just a piece paper."

The initial response from the media was also very positive. Brit Hume of Fox News said, "It takes a bold leader to point out the fact that the Founding Fathers were radicals who created a flawed document that is more fitting for a hippie commune than a great country." Chris Matthews of MSNBC said, "I applaud the president for this grand gesture of reform. Bush is a manly man who is sure of himself. I can't see John Kerry or Al Gore acting this decisively."

A few hours later, the president's aides gathered up the soiled Constitution and returned it to the National Archives.

Publisher's note: This story was originally published on Wednesday, October 04, 2006. It is being reposted in memory of the Constitution of the United States which was recently murdered by George W. Bush and the Republican Party with a large number of Democratic senators and representatives serving as accomplices.


Anonymous Erika said...

Bush, Cheney and the modern Republican Party are what our Founding Fathers feared the most.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous pinko said...

You know what is one of the most ironic things? Bush is descended from a great many prominent people, including Dr. Samuel Prescott.

Listen my children and you will hear how in seventeen hundred and seventy-five three riders Revere, Dawes and Prescott set out to warn Concord "the British are coming, the British are coming!". All three were detained by a British roadblock. Dawes managed to get away, but in the escape was either thrown or fell from his horse so did not complete the ride. Revere did not get away from the British roadblock and did not complete the ride.

Prescott jumped his horse over a wall and escaped, and was the only rider to reach Concord and warn the populace.

Bush is descended from one of the true patriots of America, when being a patriot meant risking your life and your property against the crown.

Now, Bush wears a crown and is a traitor to the very principles he claims to honor.

3:04 PM  

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