Thursday, August 02, 2007

Cheney Died And Rose Again

Washington, D.C. - According to the website the Indwelling Cardiac Device (ICD) replaced in Vice President Dick Cheney's heart must be tested for proper functioning prior to the chest suture being closed. Evidently the only way for a device to be tested is for the doctors to induce an arrhythmic heartbeat, which then leads to cardiac arrest, which leads to death. This is part of the routine testing of such a device in the controlled environment of a surgical suite under the watchful eyes of appropriate medical staff.

This means that Dick Cheney, for a nanosecond or two, was dead prior to being brought back to life by the proper functioning of the device and that George W. Bush was but a heartbeat away from the presidency.

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko


Anonymous HaroldX said...

I read that Cheney has a team of doctors and nurses with him at all times, all paid for by the tax payer. Meanwhile, President Cheney is going to have his cabin boy little W veto healthcare for children. This is what America has become.

11:02 PM  
Blogger Lilith said...

Ha ha!

EXCEPT.... Cheney has no heart, so an ICD is completely unnecesary.

Cheney functions on infusions of money earmarked for schools, and the blood of kittens.

10:50 AM  

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