Superdelegates Out Supermodels In

New York, New York - In a decision that will have far reaching implications, the Democratic National Committee today announced that the superdelegates will no longer have any say on the selection of the Democratic presidential nominee. Instead a blue ribbon panel of supermodels will make the final selection on who will represent the Democratic Party in November.

Howard Dean, head of the Democratic National Committee said, "Obama and Clinton are out there savaging each other daily while McCain gets a free ride from the media and the superdelegates dither. This is no way to win an election. That is why we made the decision to turn this whole matter over to the supermodels who are, after all, more trusted by the American people than the superdelegates and the media combined."

Speaking on behalf of the supermodels, Kate Moss said, "I want all Americans to know that we take this responsibility very seriously. Even though many of us are not American citizens, we do share a basic belief in 'Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness', especially the pursuit of happiness. Furthermore, we shall make sure that the next president of the United States is not only knowledgeable about haute couture but will also be able to appear in public without being a national embarrassment like George W. Bush."