Friday, June 23, 2006

Epidemic Of Feral Children In America

Unsupervised gangs of screaming children have overrun suburban communities nationwide causing disruptions and disturbing the peace. These feral adolescents maraud through neighborhoods on skateboards, scooters, and bicycles. They are known to emit ear-piercing screams at regular intervals and are completely undisciplined which gives them a feeling of absolute omnipotence.

Childhood psychologists such as Dr. Boyden T. Benton of the Harvard Institute of Adolescent Bad Behavior are concerned, "These children have no grounding. They are uncivilized. All they do is scream and eat sugar. This is having very serious consequences. We are seeing children as young as five years old who are completely deaf and suffering from diabetes. Furthermore, test scores for American children are plummeting to the lowest levels ever recorded undermining the nation's lead in science and technology." Dr. Benton then said "Many of these problems stem from a lack of good role models."

When informed of this issue and the substantial negative impact to the country, President George W. Bush screamed, cried, rolled on the floor and threatened to hold his breath until America regained its dominance in the world.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Roger Drowne EC said...

OUR Children Need Real Ideas...

They Want Work 2 Do... Locally and Global...

They need 2 B told they R an EARTH CITIZEN - wanted and needed, today, now, on OUR planet...

Say Hello & Show the Children You See Each Day, This web site...

http://www.OneGlobalCommunity.com

Thank U, another, EARTH CITIZEN

It's A Start...
.

5:34 AM  
Anonymous evenkeel said...

Virt, you've got that right! Kids rule. Many parents have abdicated any responsibility for civilizing their children. Kids where I live are as loud as they want to be, screaming and sreeching for hours. I know a lot of people who are not going to movies, restaurants, cruises, etc. because of the likelihood of having to deal with "kids gone wild". Seems to be an American epidemic. Thanks for the humorous coverage. (It would be even funnier if it wasn't so true.)

10:06 PM  
Anonymous RivrGrrl said...

Reason #427 for not having children!

Thank you, Virt.
:-)

8:07 PM  

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