Karl Rove Declares Victory Over Truth

Washington, D.C. - Karl Rove, in a joint appearance with President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney on the White House lawn, today declared victory in his long war over truth. Said Rove, "There were times when I wasn't sure I would be able to pull it off but with the help of Fox News, MSNBC, CNN and all of my other team members in the media I was able to deliver a crushing blow to the truth from which it will never recover."

Rove, in an obviously jovial mood after narrowly avoiding indictment, continued "But there are others I have to thank as well, great leaders who have shown me the way. First and foremost among them is Joseph Goebbels. Without the big lie technique we would never have been able to stop the count in Florida in 2000 or keep all of those Black people from voting in Ohio in 2004. Hell, without the big lie we would've been sunk a long time ago. And, of course, I would be remiss if I didn't thank my patron saint, Senator Joseph McCarthy, one of the great pioneers of the fear and smear tactic. I want all of the young people out there to remember this important lesson, it is all about winning at any cost. Ethics, morality and the common good are just hurdles to be overcome."

Rove was then joined by Bush and Cheney as they loudly began singing "We are the Champions." When they finished the song they received a thunderous round of applause from the assembled White House press.