Supreme Court: Midnight Kidnappings of US Citizens Legal

Washington, D.C. - The Supreme Court ruled today that every man, woman and child is guilty until proven innocent and therefore any action taken against any citizen of the United States by any government authority is constitutional. Chief Justice Roberts reading from the majority opinion said "Hey, you got nothing to hide than you shouldn't worry about the government breaking down your doors at midnight and kidnapping you for further interrogation. If the authorities are unable to find any evidence or exact a confession, you will be released in less than 18 months."