Friday, June 16, 2006

Nation Stunned As Bush Tells Truth

Washington, D.C. - The Washington press core, gathered dignitaries, American citizens and people the world over were stunned yesterday when they heard President Bush say something that was true. This highly unusual event occurred at a White House party in honor of Lee Raymond, chairman of Exxon, who is receiving a 400 million dollar retirement package.

During the course of the dinner, Bush introduced the First Lady from the podium and said "This is my wife, Laura." This caused a great deal of excitement in the room and was quickly reported to the world by the Assimilated Press. It turns out that this is the first true statement that President Bush has made since he was inaugurated. Senator Harry Reid said, "I don't think I have ever been so shocked. I didn't think it was possible for anything but a lie to leave his lips." Leaders all over the world are wondering if this is the beginning of a trend or just a one time slip. However, not everyone was pleased with this development. Prime Minister Tony Blair was heard to remark, "Oh, good God, now people are going to expect me to say something that is true once in a while."

Reporters for Assimilated Press remain on the scene to report if there are any other truthful statements to emanate from the White House.


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