Monday, July 17, 2006

Bush Orders Closure Of American Border With Venezuela

Washington, D.C. - President Bush, citing recent incendiary statements by Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, today ordered a total closure of America's border with Venezuela. Said President Bush, "Our neighbor to the south is unrespecting us and that is something that no Commander-in-Chief can tolerate. Therefore, I have instructed the army and national guard to immediately seal the border with Venezuela."

Reaction on Capital Hill was swift with Bush receiving strong bipartisan support for this policy decision. Senator Bill Frist said, "This is a bold move by a forceful and decisive leader. Venezuela must be made to pay a price for their harsh and reckless rhetoric." Senator Lieberman added, "I agree completely with my colleague from Tennessee. All Americans stand united behind our president as he protects us from this verbal abuse."

Later in the day, Acting Assistant Attorney General Steven Bradbury was asked if the president was aware that the United States did not share a border with Venezuela. Bradbury replied, "The president is always right. If he says that the United States has a border with Venezuela, then the United States has a border with Venezuela."

Fox News, in support of the president, prominently featured a map that showed Venezuela sharing a common border with Arizona and New Mexico.

10 Comments:

Blogger nunya said...

Oh. My. God. ROFL

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Equinox said...

I look forward to your posts every morning. Love your stuff!

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Pinko said...

Senator Hillary Clinton said, "At times like this all Americans must stand as one. While I may disagree that closing the border is the best course of action, I have long felt that our border with Venezuela has been too porous for too long."

4:14 PM  
Blogger FaulknA said...

Once again it's scary to see how close to reality these made up stories are.

5:03 PM  
Anonymous Democracy4U2 said...

I agree, faulkna, very close to reality, like the fact that Bradbury actually did say "the president is always right". How scary is that? Virt, a very adept blend of fact and fiction.

9:47 PM  
Blogger The Xsociate said...

I wonder how map makers will be affected by this.

11:03 AM  
Blogger jurassicpork said...

I'm still wait ing for the day when reality and satire merge to be become one amorphous, indistinguishable blob. Huh? It has?

Never mind...

9:27 PM  
Blogger Bill Mac Bean said...

I agree with faulkna. dumbya is so pathetically ignorant, it's not that far a stretch to imagine prezdint Dipshit thinking such a thing. Remember his statement: Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better"?

10:12 AM  
Blogger MarchDancer said...

Remember the president's comment to the leader of the Chinese captives of Communism at the G8 meeting in Moscow? "China is a big country," after discovering that the Chinese representative had to travel as far as Bush to get home again. Bush was not embarrassed. I am!

5:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Remember the president's comment to the leader of the Chinese captives of Communism at the G8 meeting in Moscow? "China is a big country," after discovering that the Chinese representative had to travel as far as Bush to get home again. Bush was not embarrassed. I am!

5:43 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home