Bush Orders Closure Of American Border With Venezuela
Washington, D.C. - President Bush, citing recent incendiary statements by Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, today ordered a total closure of America's border with Venezuela. Said President Bush, "Our neighbor to the south is unrespecting us and that is something that no Commander-in-Chief can tolerate. Therefore, I have instructed the army and national guard to immediately seal the border with Venezuela."
Reaction on Capital Hill was swift with Bush receiving strong bipartisan support for this policy decision. Senator Bill Frist said, "This is a bold move by a forceful and decisive leader. Venezuela must be made to pay a price for their harsh and reckless rhetoric." Senator Lieberman added, "I agree completely with my colleague from Tennessee. All Americans stand united behind our president as he protects us from this verbal abuse."
Later in the day, Acting Assistant Attorney General Steven Bradbury was asked if the president was aware that the United States did not share a border with Venezuela. Bradbury replied, "The president is always right. If he says that the United States has a border with Venezuela, then the United States has a border with Venezuela."
Fox News, in support of the president, prominently featured a map that showed Venezuela sharing a common border with Arizona and New Mexico.
posted by Virt at 12:50 AM
8 Comments:
Oh. My. God. ROFL
I look forward to your posts every morning. Love your stuff!
Senator Hillary Clinton said, "At times like this all Americans must stand as one. While I may disagree that closing the border is the best course of action, I have long felt that our border with Venezuela has been too porous for too long."
Once again it's scary to see how close to reality these made up stories are.
I agree, faulkna, very close to reality, like the fact that Bradbury actually did say "the president is always right". How scary is that? Virt, a very adept blend of fact and fiction.
I wonder how map makers will be affected by this.
I'm still wait ing for the day when reality and satire merge to be become one amorphous, indistinguishable blob. Huh? It has?
Never mind...
Remember the president's comment to the leader of the Chinese captives of Communism at the G8 meeting in Moscow? "China is a big country," after discovering that the Chinese representative had to travel as far as Bush to get home again. Bush was not embarrassed. I am!
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