Bush Orders Execution Of First Dog Barney

Washington, D.C. - In an unusual display of public anger, President George W. Bush today ordered the summary execution of his pet Scottish Terrier and First Dog, Barney. This unexpected and tragic turn of events took place as Bush was returning to the White House from a trip to Camp David.

Apparently, Barney's fall from grace occurred when he ruined a well-orchestrated photo opportunity by neglecting to warmly greet the President as he stepped from the helicopter. Barney has faithfully performed this rehearsed routine many times in the past and it is believed that on this occasion he was distracted by a nearby squirrel.

President Bush, however, was not in a forgiving mood. Clearly upset by this canine misbehavior, Bush turned to the marine guard standing at attention and ordered him to shoot Barney. The marine guard at first appeared startled by the command but quickly regained his composure and obeyed the president by discharging his sidearm into Barney's chest. Barney stumbled backward and then collapsed dead.

Reaction from the media was generally supportive of the president as typified by Tim Russert of NBC who said, "No one can doubt that this president is a take charge guy who isn't afraid to make the tough decisions. You have to believe that the next First Dog will think twice before making such a big mistake." Brit Hume of Fox News also weighed in by saying "Barney had it coming to him. I think this will give Bush a 10 point boost in the polls."

Presidential aids later removed Barney's head which will be mounted for display in the Oval Office.