Bush Becomes America's First 6 Star General

Washington, D.C. - President Bush, declaring that the title of Commander in Chief was no longer sufficient to match his responsibilities as a war president, today awarded himself six stars and proclaimed that he would now be known as General Bush, Supreme Commander in the War on Terror. General Bush also unveiled the special uniform he had commissioned to reflect his new rank. It included a coat covered with medals earned during his many years of hard work protecting the American people from evil doers and a long purple robe with the Bush family insignia.

After the announcement, members of congress and the media surrounded General Bush for a chance to congratulate him on his new position. Many kissed his robe as a sign of respect and subjugation. Said Senator Lieberman, "Doesn't he look wonderful in that new uniform. Now is the time for all Americans to get behind General Bush, our Supreme Commander."

White House spokesperson Tony Snow said after the ceremony that "although five stars are considered the highest rank in the military, General Bush felt that he was deserving of the special honor to be America's first six star general because of the many sacrifices he has made for the people of this country."

A few hours later, General Bush, Supreme Commander in the War on Terror, flew to Crawford, Texas for the start of his two month long summer vacation.