Harvard Business School Loses Accreditation
Cambridge, Massachusetts - In an embarrassing disclosure, the Harvard Business School was forced to admit that their accreditation has been withdrawn due to lack of standards and favoritism to legacy students. This punitive action is expected to have an extremely adverse impact on Harvard's once stellar reputation and will make it much more difficult for the school to recruit the best students and most qualified staff.
In a hastily arranged announcement today, Dean Bill Ofurdew informed the assembled faculty that the International Academic Review Board has meted out its harshest discipline to the prestigious university because of past and present practices but that one incident in particular led to the present situation. He refused to elaborate. However, according to sources within the university, Harvard Business School fell afoul of the accreditation board because of its acceptance of George W. Bush who was so grossly unqualified, even for a legacy student, that it brought disgrace to Harvard's admission process.
Furthermore, evidence was produced that showed that the young Bush received his degree even though he did not attend classes or meet basic academic requirements. Representatives of the International Academic Review Board speaking anonymously said that the favoritism showed to George W. Bush made a mockery of the Harvard Business School and rendered their diplomas valueless.
An obviously penitent Dean Ofurdew said, "I am deeply ashamed of the behavior of the admissions board and the entire Harvard Business School. I hope that one day we will be able to regain our reputation."
The International Academic Review Board guidelines say that Harvard can reapply for accreditation after two years have passed. If their accreditation is approved it will be on a provisional basis until the end of a three year probationary period.