Lieberman Stock Trading At Record Lows

Hartford, Connecticut - Shares of Joe Lieberman Incorporated fell to record lows yesterday in trading at the Congressional Commodities Exchange shortly after the senator's announcement that he would begin to gather signatures for an independent run should he lose the Democratic primary. Market brokers interpreted this move as a sign of desperation in the Lieberman camp which caused investors to lose confidence in the long term futures of Joe Lieberman.

In a second setback to the junior senator from Connecticut, independent auditors downgraded Lieberman stock to junk bond status. Said McMillan T. Morgan of Morgan, Stevens & Tiffany Brokerage, "Joe used to be a blue-chip commodity, a steady return for investors and a favorite of the insurance and banking industries. Now, it looks like the outlook for Lieberman has collapsed and people want to get out before they get burned. We have advised our clients to move from hold to sell."

As of press time, our calls to Senators Chuck Schumer and Chris Dodd seeking comment were not returned.