"F Word" To Be Taxed By Government
Washington, D.C. - Secretary of the Treasury Henry M. Paulson, Jr. announced today that the government was working with congress to institute a tax on the "F word." Paulson said, "While we are against taxes as a matter of principle, we are wholeheartedly in support of this new tax on one of the most profane expletives used. Furthermore, this tax will bring in desperately needed revenue while also helping to cleanse our obscenity laced society of these horrible utterances. In fact, our initial estimates predict that this new tax will bring in 14 billion dollars a year to the treasury."
When questioned how it would be possible to collect taxes on the use of a word, Paulson replied "We don't anticipate too many problems in collecting revenues from this new tax. We are coordinating our efforts with the NSA and they will let us know who is using the F word during phone conversations and on their computers for emails and messaging. We will also be instituting a special eyes and ears reward program where neighbors and friends will be financially rewarded for reporting any F word usage they come in contact with. All in all, I think we've got the bases covered pretty well."
Experts say that this new tax is expected to hit bloggers and college students especially hard since they are among the most ardent users of the F word. In fact, several well known bloggers have said they will shut down their sites if they are not allowed to use the F word. Said one top-rated blogger who wished to remain anonymous "F*** this s***! How the f*** am I supposed to f***ing communicate to my f***ing readers if I can't use f***? It's a f***ing disgrace."
In response to these criticisms and to help bloggers, college students and others who do not wish to pay the new tax on the F word, the Treasury department released a list of suitable words that can be used without taxation. They include, fudge, fiddlesticks, feck, fock and fluck.
Support in congress for this new tax is said to be bipartisan and it is expected to pass within the next two weeks.