Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Katie Couric Bares Breasts To Boost Ratings

New York, New York - In her first appearance as the new CBS Evening News anchor, Katie Couric surprised the viewers by spontaneously baring her breasts midway through the half-hour newscast. This groundbreaking moment in journalism occurred shortly after a story on Tom Cruise's heartfelt apology to Brooke Shields and before a feature on the health benefits of Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs).

In this unique gesture to viewers, Ms. Couric showed the competitive spirit she is taking to her new position and, at the same time, sent a clear signal to the other networks that she will do whatever it takes to win the ratings wars. However, NBC and ABC have already let it be known that they will not let this action go without a response. On tomorrow's broadcast, NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams will do the entire broadcast wearing only his purple speedos. And, on ABC, Charlie Gibson will have his tongue pierced and fitted with a diamond stud.

2 Comments:

Blogger Virtual Bob said...

Virt,

You ROCK!! .. Your site is the first one I go to almost every morning. Although my feeble site, The Virtual Bob Show, http://www.bubba.com , and its counterpart, http://virtualbob.bubba.com is visited by (maybe) 8 or 9 people a day, and I "write", or rather, I piss, moan, and complain about the current administration out of frustration and not knowing what else to do, your site exhibits true talent and a sharp intellectual wit. Kudos, Dude.

Last night I was watching Don Imus (Imus In The Morning) on MSNBC and some asshat news-'reader' (talking head) that he was interviewing was, literally, GUSHING over how FABULOUS it was that Katie Couric was gonna essentially SAVE TELEVISION, that she was The Most Important Thing To Come To Television Since The Beatles Appeared On Ed Sullivan. I hit the MUTE button before I went into mental spasms. Then, I went to your site and saw your Couric piece.

Wow.

All you were missing was a sub-head of the talking head's Beatles remark, and, of course, a great picture of her either baring her breasts (which I could probably find on Fark.com) or another equally concise gesture.

I felt it was my duty, no .. my obligation to correct this slight oversight in the only way I know how.

So I stole your shyt.

There. You now know the truth.

Sincerely,

Virtual Bob
http://www.bubba.com
http://virtualbob.bubba.com

PS .. You owe me a new keyboard after I hurled my milk while reading your Seal Clubbing article.

Just so you know.

8:47 PM  
Blogger The Xsociate said...

I wonder if they photoshopped Katie this time?

1:23 AM  

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