Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Bush Plans To Move New Orleans To North Dakota

New Orleans, Louisiana - While visiting New Orleans on the one year anniversary of Katrina, Bush disclosed a novel plan he and his closest aids have developed for the reconstruction of the fabled city. Under this new Bush plan, the entire city of New Orleans will be rebuilt on vacant land thirty miles outside of Fargo, North Dakota.

Halliburton and Bechtel have already been given no-bid contracts totaling 12 billion dollars to begin work on the project. Once the initial phase is completed, displaced residents of New Orleans will be bused to North Dakota where each family will be given a spacious one-room apartment complete with a kitchenette in exchange for an agreement to work for seven years at a nearby Wal-Mart nationwide distribution facility that is yet to be built. Once they have satisfactorily completed their seven years of service, they will be given ownership of their apartments and full citizenship in the newly constructed city which will go by the name New New Orleans.

In explaining the virtue of his plan, President Bush said, "This here is what we call a win-win situation. The government doesn't have to build a new expensive levee system and the people made homeless by Katrina will have a nice place to live and work in beautiful North Dakota where they won't have to worry about hurricanes no more."

In related news, the old city of New Orleans has been sold to a Dubai firm that will run the valuable port facilities and also maintain a small stretch of Bourbon Street as a historical artifact and tourist attraction.


Blogger The Xsociate said...

Any word on when they are moving Baghdad to the Ninth Ward?

1:22 AM  

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