Newborn Babies To Be Slapped With Liens To Cover Debt

Washington, D.C. - The Treasury Department announced today that, starting at the beginning of next year, all newborn babies will be served with liens to cover the accumulated national debt that has reached record levels under the Bush administration's financial leadership. These liens will cover all future earnings of the babies upon whom the burden of the debt will now fall.

Secretary of the Treasury Henry M. Paulson, Jr., while acknowledging that some may view this as unfair to the generations of Americans who are yet to be born, said "Of course, we could craft a policy that would balance the budget, provide health care for all Americans, revitalize the nation's infrastructure and restore fairness to the internal revenue system, and we could do it now. But, let's be realistic, that would mean no tax cuts and no more wars. That just isn't going to happen."

As details of the plan were being released, critics of the new policy marched in front of the Treasury building bearing signs that said, "I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today." Within a few minutes, police arrived and escorted the protesters to the nearest free speech zone at the Washington, D.C. Correctional Facility.