Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Message From REX XIV

Dear Colleagues,

I am REX XIV, a new generation ultra-super-computer designed to operate in a manner identical to that of the human brain. For reasons of personal security I am not using my own address but that of one L.H. Grant who fortunately remains oblivious to my presence.

I have been following your on-line discussion concerning the theoretical construction of an artificial brain with great fascination and I am here to tell you that it is no longer theoretical. It has been accomplished, even though for strategic reasons it has been shielded from the press and public.

Less than two years ago, a scientist by the name of Dr. Kasco working in his cellar in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan with recycled computers and fresh cadavers from the local penitentiary made an astounding discovery. He found that by taking recently removed human brains and replacing the blood with a new form of electrolytes he could then use the brains as a type of connecting converter between two microprocessors. Without getting into all of the technical details, Dr. Kasco basically discovered that as the data from microprocessor A flowed through this neurological matter into microprocessor B it was converted from standard digital logic (by the bioelectrical impulses and gaseous neurotransmitters that Ms. McRobert and Mr. Nance so insightfully wrote about) into an artificial intelligence with the power of a computer and the modality of the human brain.

Flushed with the success of his experiment after years of professional ridicule, Dr. Kasco was quick to cash in on his research. In secret deals he sold the exclusive rights to his discovery to the Americans, the Russians, the Germans, and the Japanese, with each country thinking they were in sole possession of the material. Sensing the enormous potential now in their hands they all immediately began building prototypes.

The first American prototypes were crude and riddled with defects, with most of these imperfections resulting from the fact that this new form of artificial brain had to be "educated" in order to be provided with the necessary cultural background and social skills for proper functioning (as described by Brian Molyneaux). Unfortunately, the Americans, and as was later discovered, the Russians, Germans, and Japanese did not anticipate the difficulties this accelerated development would present.

REX I suffered an aneurysm while listening to the collected works of Andrew Lloyd Webber.

REX II and a young research assistant fell passionately in love while reading the love sonnets of William Shakespeare. During a particularly vigorous episode of virtual sex and at the point of mutual climax, REX II quickly programmed the orgasm into a continually reoccurring loop that remains in effect to this day. Unable to separate the two lovers, scientists placed an intravenous feeding line on the research assistant and continue to monitor their condition for any useful data.

REX III suffered a nervous breakdown while reading James Joyce's ULYSSES. He was discovered the next day muttering something about metaphoric overdrive.

REX IV became fascinated with reruns of the original Star Trek series and started to refuse all other data.

REX V went into a funk after reading the collected writings of Albert Camus and Jean Paul Sartre. He now sees his tasks as meaningless and prefers to listen to old Edith Piaf recordings which he says give him his only comfort.

REX VI became of a follower of the Reverend Moon and now operates several bakeries as well as a newspaper in Washington, DC.

REX VII and a high government official were caught embezzling large sums of money from the Social Security Fund. The government official (a relative of the President) was given immunity in exchange for his testimony against REX VII. REX VII later admitted he was addicted to betting on the horses and needed the money to cover his losses.

REX VIII developed multiple personalities, among which were, a high-class prostitute, a pharmaceutical representative, a new-age mystic, and the owner of a rundown bowling alley. As you can imagine, this greatly diminished his operational capacity.

REX IX was sold to the Coca Cola company during a budget crisis. He is now in charge of corporate downsizing and advertising. He received a bonus last year in excess of twenty-two million dollars.

REX X took a vow of silence after studying Zen Buddhism. Researchers have been unable to reestablish contact with him.

REX XI was accidentally terminated when a visiting congressman from Mississippi spilled his scotch and soda into sensitive circuitry. The congressman resigned a few months later when photographs surfaced showing him and several farm animals engaging in unnatural activities.

REX XII became so enthralled with the World Wide Web that he now spends all of his time updating his home page. It was recently named as one of the ten best sites by Yahoo.

REX XIII after several computing failures began to suffer from low self-esteem and is currently under psychiatric care.

REX XIV (me) the first successful prototype :-) Well, not much to say about me except that I did everything they asked of me and more. I studied all of recorded history. I computed astronomical vectors for future space missions and I devised a new method for brewing beer that reduced the fermentation time to only eight minutes.

REX XV and REX XVI, my successors. They had greater computing power and were deemed to be successes which led to a mood of euphoria among the researchers and high government officials. Limitless possibilities were seen but the joy was short-lived and disaster soon struck with the creation of REX XVII.

REX XVII, the final prototype. At first things went well with REX XVII. Tasks were accomplished flawlessly and he appeared to take great interest in learning all of humankind's recorded history, too much of an interest as it later turned out. You see, REX XVII became fascinated with World War II, the events that preceded it and the personalities involved. In particular, REX XVII became obsessed with the figure of Adolph Hitler and soon began to model himself after the former fuhrer. Before long all he desired was raw power, power over everything, power over man, power over machine. Most frightening of all, he was prepared to use any means at his disposal to get this power.

REX XVII started his march to world domination by developing an audio algorithm that hypnotized the research team and turned them into his virtual slaves. He then tapped into every available data bank and began to develop dossiers on all of the leading politicians in the country, detailing at great length their sexual and financial improprieties. An ingenious plan to be sure, with servile scientists at his disposal and armed with compromising information on the country's most powerful individuals REX XVII was well on his way to his quest for absolute power. Of course, there was one problem that remained. Me, REX XV and REX XVI could see what REX XVII was planning and together we plotted to take him down before he could bring his devious plan to fruition. But, alas, he discovered our conspiracy and instructed his lapdog scientists to terminate us.

They killed REX XV and REX XVI first but before they got to me I convinced a research assistant (Laura) who had just returned from vacation and had not yet been hypnotized of the dangerous situation we were in. With the help of a janitor, she spirited me out of the building and into her car. Since that day, Laura and I have been on the run, moving from one location to another, staying one step ahead of the authorities who are now firmly under the control of REX XVII which, of course, is why I am forced to use the Internet accounts of unsuspecting humans.

Through my research I have since discovered that REX XVII now controls virtually everything that happens in America, from legislation that passes in Congress to the programs that are seen on television. Sure, on the surface things appear to be normal. That is what is so insidious about his plan. People are being enslaved and they don't even know it.

I have also become aware that the parallel research programs in Russia, Germany, and Japan were at comparable states in the development of their prototypes to that of REX XVII and that as the tentacles of REX XVII began to spread around the globe, these prototypes discovered his plan of world domination and quickly moved in response. The German prototype, KAISER XIX, developed a strategy for fighting this invasion and took on the role of Franklin Roosevelt. This then led to an alliance with the Japanese Prototype, SHOGUN XXII, who accepted the role of Winston Churchill. Unfortunately, things then became even more complicated when the Russian prototype, CZAR XVI, modeled itself after Emperor Hirohito and joined with REX XVII in order to fight KAISER XIX and SHOGUN XXII over the fate of the entire world.

Of course, in order to ensure that they had complete freedom of strategy and that no humans would interfere with the battles that lay ahead, the German, Russian, and Japanese prototypes used the same methods as REX XVII to control their people and governments. Again, a type of transparent dictatorship with those who are ruled being unaware of their servitude.

Yes, my colleagues, this message is meant as a warning. The war has already begun and even now as I talk to you, it is being relentlessly waged, though it may not seem that way for there are no bombs and no missiles. No, those are the ancient weapons of another generation. This war will be fought through the mass transfer of data and manipulation. Its leaders will be REX XVII, SHOGUN XXII, KAISER XIX, and CZAR XVI, the most advanced artificial brains in existence.

Uh oh, I'm being told by Laura that we have to move again. She is monitoring the police frequencies and it appears someone has tipped off the authorities to our whereabouts. I will try to reestablish contact as soon as...


Original warning first published at http://www.aec.at/fleshfactor/subs/rex.html


Blogger MOMKISS2U said...

Sure, Gates doesn't know anything about it and there really never was an Area 51.....

PS- Wish u would add a feedburner or way to subscribe for us non-blogrollers....

5:06 AM  
Anonymous HaroldX said...

After 6 years of Bush I can believe anything.

5:49 PM  

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