Friday, May 04, 2007

White House Shifts Blame To DOD Over Artificial Brain Fiasco

Washington, D.C. - While very few details have emerged, what is rapidly becoming obvious is the state of near panic gripping the White House over the flurry of unauthorized leaks concerning problems with their top secret artificial intelligence project that is based on replicating the processes of the human brain.

In a desperate attempt to deflect blame, they are trying to transfer the focus of public inquiries to the Department of Defense, who they say would have jurisdiction over this type of program. At the same time, they continue to deny the existence of the program.

When questioned about the artificial brain project, White House Spokesman Tony Snow said, "There is no such project and if there was, I would deny it, but there isn't and you have my word on it."


Anonymous pinko said...

From: NY Times, Science section

Artificial intelligence has long sought to replicate the workings of the human brain. Although officially denied, scientists in the field have long been aware of government programs to explore this type of project.

According to a top scientist with the Department of Defense, the replication of a human brain has been tried several times with varying degrees of success.

Seeking to provide insight for America's future, scientists recently created two artificial brains based on unnamed current leaders.

Unfortunately the first artificial brain created, the DC, had to be destroyed as it proved to be paranoid, secretive, egomanical, unable to recognize reality from fantasy, and had aggressive, war-like tendencies. For the sake of national security the DC model was destroyed.

There was little success with the second brain. This brain, the W, proved to be lightweight, rigid and had difficulty articulating its rather basic thoughts. This brain was not destroyed, however, as scientists found a use for it. Currently the W model has been reprogrammed to take messages, via bicycle, from one office to another.

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Erika said...

pinko, the W is definitely a lemon!

4:34 PM  
Blogger Ian Parker said...

You do not carry out secret research on fundamental topics. Proper Peer group Review. If you do you waste money.

The Navy has abandoned a top secret speech research program. "?Habla el Armada bueno espagnol?" It would have been obvious to everyone that speech research was a linguistic problem if they had allowed PGR. Otherwise a wate of money.

6:54 AM  

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