Supreme Court Rules Male Fetus Can Vote

Washington, D.C. - The Supreme Court, in a 5 to 4 decision, declared that a male fetus has the right to vote. Justices Thomas, Scalia, Alito, Kennedy and Chief Justice Roberts signed the majority opinion. The ruling would also allow a male fetus to own property, drive a car, and carry a handgun.

When Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg began to present a dissenting opinion, Justice Kennedy interrupted her, saying "Now, Ruthie, don't get all worked up. It's not good for your health."

The five Justices who signed the majority opinion then took turns patting Justice Ginsburg on the head and asking her what was for dinner.

Written for Assimilated Press by roving reporter pinko