Pelosi: "Impeachment Off Table But Bribes Welcome"
Washington, D.C. - Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi reiterated her position yesterday regarding the impeachment of Vice President Dick Cheney and President George W. Bush by saying they were off the table.
In response, both Cheney and Bush ran a victory lap around the Capital Building and shouted out "No one is going to stop us now. Get ready for martial law and war with Iran. Thank you, Nancy. We love you."
Though Pelosi made it clear that Democrats would not do anything to seriously hold the Bush administration accountable for its actions, she did emphatically state that her office and the entire Democratic leadership was available for purchase by the highest bidder.
Said Pelosi, "You know, it just doesn't pay to represent the individual voter or little guy when you can rake in the big bucks from a few transnational firms who even save us the work by writing the legislation for us."
When Pelosi was asked how this made her and her fellow Democrats different from the Republican leaders of the last Congress, she hesitated and then said, "I'll have to get back to you on that."