Breaking: President Bush Turns Bleach White & Faints

Washington, D.C. - Just a short while ago, President Bush turned white as a ghost, trembled, gasped and then cried before he collapsed to the ground like a bowl of warm Jell-O.

Witnesses report that this event was triggered when the President received a report from his new attorney general stating that the International Tribunal in The Hague does not recognize presidential pardons or amnesty and that there is no statute of limitations for war crimes.

The President's mother, Barbara Bush, is feeding him his favorite eel soup and rubbing Vics VapoRub on his chest. He is expected to recover in time to order the destruction of any remaining incriminating evidence that could be used against him in a court of law.