Friday, December 15, 2006

Barbara Bush Spanks Boy George In Public

Kennebunkport, Maine - George W. Bush may be president of the United States but when he misbehaves, Barbara Bush is still the commander-in-chief. In an embarrassing incident at one of Kennebunkport's most exclusive restaurants, Le Petite Fromage, the president learned, once again, never to cross his mother. It began innocently enough at a family dinner to celebrate a Christmas bonus of fourteen million dollars given to the president's father by the Carlyle Group, a major weapons supplier whose profits have skyrocketed over the last six years.

Tensions were already riding high at the beginning of the meal when the president and his father got into a heated exchange about who was the better president. At one point, the current president called the former president "a pathetic one-termer" which led George Herbert Walker Bush to respond by saying, "Yeah, well, at least I didn't lose a war."

That remark seemed to send the president over the edge as he shouted back at his father, "You are nothin' but a wimp. You didn't have the balls to go into Baghdad and finish off Saddam so I had to." The former president, also getting angrier by the second, then said, "You're a loser, son. You've always been a loser. If it wasn't for me and my friends you would be a bankrupt alcoholic rotting in the gutter somewhere."

Turning red in the face, the president then started yelling to his father, "Wimp! Wimp! Wimp!"

And the former president replied, "Loser! Loser! Loser!"

And on and on it went until George W. Bush, in a fit of exasperation, finally yelled out "And Laura is a much better first lady than mom ever was."

At that point, the president's insolence was more than Barbara Bush could bear. She grabbed her wayward son by his arm and threw him over her knees. Then, the notoriously aggressive matriarch pulled down the president's pants and gave him a spanking on his bare behind that he will long remember.

Witnesses at the restaurant heard the president yell out in pain, "Momma, momma, please don't hurt me. Stop! Please stop! I'll be a good boy." When Barbara Bush refused to stop and continued to slap his bottom, the president called out for the secret service to intervene. However, as the agents began to approach Barbara Bush, the former first lady stopped them dead in their tracks by saying, "If you think you're tough, try messing with me. Your next assignments will be cleaning port-a-potties for the National Park Service." The agents then retreated to the nearest corner and waited patiently until the former first lady was done administering some Bush family discipline. The sobbing president then pulled up his pants and left the restaurant before dessert was served.


Blogger Lwayno said...

I see that the "No Child Ieft With a Behind" is working well!! Lwayno

5:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How scary is it that I followed this link, dove right into the first paragraph, and believed that the Bush family got a $14 million gift from the Carlyle group? Sounds plausible, no?

4:22 PM  
Anonymous enemy of the people said...

He didn't get dessert?

Awww! Poor thing!!!

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HeHe! Best part is, I find this all so easy to picture.

7:31 AM  

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