Thursday, March 15, 2007

Federalist Society Infection Spreads To US Attorneys

Washington, D.C. - Assimilated Press has learned that in spite of the escalating scandal over the US Attorneys terminated for failing to use their positions to illegally further the consolidation of power into the hands of the Republican Party, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales today bragged to close friends that he had accomplished his goal and that the plan that he, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove and President Bush had concocted was already too advanced to stop.

Sources in the Justice Department and White House have leaked details of the plan to Assimilated Press. The plan was straight forward, simple and depended entirely on having a Republican Congress in control for the last six years during which time the White House and Justice Department were able to operate without any oversight as they put in place political operatives from the Federalist Society in virtually all of the most powerful and sensitive positions in government, including the federal courts and US Attorney's Office.

Said Gonzoles to his closest associates, "Did you ever see the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Well, that's what we've done. The pods are in place and no one can stop us now."

To reflect the changes in the Justice Department, the new motto of the US Attorney's Office is "All hail the Republican Party. They are our masters and we are at their service."


Anonymous pinko said...

They Came From Beyond the RNC

People, listen to me! They're here! They're here! We have to stop them! You fools, don't you see them, don't you understand?!

Maybe it was radiation, Strontium 90 in the milk, or maybe, just maybe, it was flouride in the water. Maybe some weird sort of mutation - maybe a stem cell experiment gone wrong, oh so very wrong! Or pollution - something nasty in the swamp....or maybe they came from out there - the stars, the unknown planets.... or maybe, they're some sort of throwbacks, atavistic primal man, without any sense of civilization, of decency, of justice...but whatever they, be aware! Be careful! And above all - be alert!

What do you think REALLY happened to Nelson Rockefeller? Did you buy that "heart attack while making love to his mistress" story? As if!Where did all the "liberal Republicans" go?

Check your basement...and bring a pitchfork with you.



8:51 PM  
Anonymous Wayne Smyer said...

Alberto Gonzalez and Alice Fisher have asked Jeffy Cannon,Hot Military Stud-Whore to become the Federal Attorney General for Florida, to investigate the murder of Gus Boulis. Mr. Gannon, an ace reporter for the Talon-Assimilated Press, has had intimate knowledge of all the REPUKES that were involved in the murder of Konstantino "Gus" Boulis and the theft of his Sun-Cruz Casino Ships.

6:36 AM  

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