Friday, September 29, 2006

ABC To Feature Torture Of Detainees On New Reality Program

New York, New York - Executives at ABC announced today that they have inserted a new reality TV show into the fall time slot. The show is called Detainee Breaking Point and it is being produced with the help of the Department of Homeland Security which gave the ABC production crews unlimited access to the American prison in Guantanamo as well as other prison facilities world-wide that are run by the CIA and Defense Department.

The premise is simple. A group of suspected enemy combatants are selected at the beginning of the season. During the course of 14 episodes they are all subjected to various US government approved torture techniques such as waterboarding, extreme stress positions, exposure to freezing temperatures, sleep deprivation, and beatings. Every week one of the detainees will reach their "breaking point" and give the interrogators at least one name or other important piece of information. At that point, their interrogation will be suspended and they will be eliminated from the competition. By the last show of the season only one detainee will be left and that lucky prisoner will be rewarded with a presidential pardon and a luxury condo in Lake Tahoe.

To keep interest high throughout all 14 episodes, special guest interrogators will join the regular interrogation crew on a weekly basis. The special guest interrogators for the first four episodes have been announced and they are, in order of appearance, Senators John McCain, Lindsey Graham, John Warner, and Joe Lieberman.

Speaking about his new program, Robert A. Iger, President and Chief Executive Officer of The Walt Disney Company which owns ABC, said "we are very hot on this show. It's real. It's unique. It's happening and it's hip. The American people will eat it up."

When questioned about the morality of using the torture of prisoners for entertainment, Iger replied, "Television is a business and in business the only morality is the bottom line. What's immoral is low ratings."


Anonymous enemy of the people said...

How come those four know-nothings get to be first to guest torture on this show?

Like any of them knows anything at all about torture...

Man, life is just not fair!

7:12 AM  
Blogger fim1ur2 said...

I would propose that, in addition to the special guest interrogators, ABC should include Celebrity Guest 'detainees' in the fun. Just think of the goodwill we could earn if Rummy, Dick, KKKarl, even Dubya appeared at the end of that board!

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Better than selecting enemy combatants they should just be snatched off some street and "retained" until the end of the season.

11:13 AM  
Blogger Eyes of the World said...

actually, they have been filming for a bit over 2 years now, yes... I am the 'star" of the show... rape, molestation, starvation, sleep depravation ... a bit of "jerry springer" thrown in every now and then with my two idiot guards ... it just doesn't seem to end ... but it will be over soon ... they say they will make a "killing" in advertisement dollars the night of the final episode .. which is soon, very soon ... when the star is dead, the shows over.

2:34 PM  

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