Baby Sent To Guantanamo After Biting Bush
Richmond, Virginia - During a campaign appearance designed to boost George Allen's floundering run for the senate seat in Virginia, President Bush picked up a baby from one of his supporters to use for a photo opportunity. This carefully choreographed plan, however, went tragically wrong when the baby started crying uncontrollably. When Bush tried to quiet the child by waving his finger in front of the baby's face. The baby, a little girl named Gloria, chomped down on the president's index finger with all of her might and drew blood. Whereupon, Bush dropped Baby Gloria who fell unceremoniously to the ground.
Baby Gloria suffered a minor concussion along with numerous bruises from the incident but her real troubles were just beginning. An enraged Karl Rove, upset that his perfect photo opportunity had been ruined, quickly ran up to President Bush. After several moments of heated discussion, Bush turned to his secret service detail and ordered them to immediately arrest the offending infant. Baby Gloria was then handcuffed in front of her horrified parents, taken into custody and transferred to Guantanamo for interrogation.
A few hours after the incident, the White House released a statement that said, "Today, President Bush courageously prevented a terrorist attack at the hands of a sleeper agent deviously embedded within an average American family using the disguise of an ordinary baby girl. Because of the President's bold and decisive action, America is safer, stronger and more secure."
Baby Gloria's parents have been taken to an undisclosed location and were unavailable for comment at press time.