Monday, October 16, 2006

Baby Sent To Guantanamo After Biting Bush

Richmond, Virginia - During a campaign appearance designed to boost George Allen's floundering run for the senate seat in Virginia, President Bush picked up a baby from one of his supporters to use for a photo opportunity. This carefully choreographed plan, however, went tragically wrong when the baby started crying uncontrollably. When Bush tried to quiet the child by waving his finger in front of the baby's face. The baby, a little girl named Gloria, chomped down on the president's index finger with all of her might and drew blood. Whereupon, Bush dropped Baby Gloria who fell unceremoniously to the ground.

Baby Gloria suffered a minor concussion along with numerous bruises from the incident but her real troubles were just beginning. An enraged Karl Rove, upset that his perfect photo opportunity had been ruined, quickly ran up to President Bush. After several moments of heated discussion, Bush turned to his secret service detail and ordered them to immediately arrest the offending infant. Baby Gloria was then handcuffed in front of her horrified parents, taken into custody and transferred to Guantanamo for interrogation.

A few hours after the incident, the White House released a statement that said, "Today, President Bush courageously prevented a terrorist attack at the hands of a sleeper agent deviously embedded within an average American family using the disguise of an ordinary baby girl. Because of the President's bold and decisive action, America is safer, stronger and more secure."

Baby Gloria's parents have been taken to an undisclosed location and were unavailable for comment at press time.

12 Comments:

Blogger R2K said...

Solid page here.

5:59 AM  
Anonymous enemy of the people said...

Well, I for one hope this is a message to any other miscreants out there who would dare to bite shrubwa's finger when he is trying to appear to be half way human.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Condi was later quoted as saying "We never could have predicted they would use babies as missiles".

12:04 PM  
Blogger Eyes of the World said...

I love you ....

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The alleged 'infant' was taken to Bulgaria for rendition and confessed to being Osama bin Laden's seventy fourth wife

6:44 PM  
Anonymous pinko said...

Representative Patrick McHenry (R-NC)interviewed on CNN by Wolf Blitzer:

McHenry: "The parents were actually Clinton aides. They knew this baby was dangerous a long time ago. They've had this baby for 18 months. Why did all this just come out now? It was a purposeful act of -"

Blitzer: "Do you have any proof of this?"

McHenry: "Who gives a baby that bites to the leader of the free world without a motive? Clinton wanted -"

Blitzer: "Do you have any proof to back this up?"

McHenry: "The baby's diaper wasn't changed, the original plan was to overcome the President by fumes, then - Clinton knew that this -"

Blitzer : "Do you have any proof of this? Yes ot no?"

McHenry: "Clinton is always -"

Blitzer: "Yes, or no? Do you have any proof?"

McHenry: "Do you have any proof that he's not?"

7:02 PM  
Anonymous pinko said...

Representative Patrick McHenry (R-NC)interviewed on CNN by Wolf Blitzer:

McHenry: "The parents were actually Clinton aides. They knew this baby was dangerous a long time ago. They've had this baby for 18 months. Why did all this just come out now? It was a purposeful act of -"

Blitzer: "Do you have any proof of this?"

McHenry: "Who gives a baby that bites to the leader of the free world without a motive? Clinton wanted -"

Blitzer: "Do you have any proof to back this up?"

McHenry: "The baby's diaper wasn't changed, the original plan was to overcome the President by fumes, then - Clinton knew that this -"

Blitzer : "Do you have any proof of this? Yes ot no?"

McHenry: "Clinton is always -"

Blitzer: "Yes, or no? Do you have any proof?"

McHenry: "Do you have any proof that he's not?"

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was no baby! it was a Marshan from Roslan and Bush knew it so he had to act quickly and take it away Now we await the retraction of the Us troops in Iraq so we can go to war and fight Mars.........Bars.
With babies like that the USA is no longer a safe place.
Greenie

11:42 AM  
Blogger No Blood for Hubris said...

Yes, exactly!

1:52 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth Anne Easter said...

That was easily the best piece of hard-hitting journalism I have seen.

Thank you.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Lwayno said...

Lwaynos' Quotes: "Bite me! Bite me!" Mary Carey, GOP Porn Queen to "Baby Chimp" Bush, Presinator & U>S> Decider-in Chief
"ONE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY" attibuted to F-You Cheney, your truly "vice" War president and Halliburton Heroe

3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you serious.....? Really though, are ya serious?

10:31 AM  

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