Barbara Bush Says Joe Lieberman Is W's Real Father
Houston, Texas - Confronted with official documentation and leaked records that had previously been sealed, a tearful Barbara Bush admitted that the real father of the president is not George Herbert Walker Bush but Senator Joe Lieberman from Connecticut. This news has stunned the nation and has also deeply shocked the president who was not aware that Lieberman was his biological father until today's surprise announcement.
Realizing the controversial nature of this disclosure, Barbara Bush said that she hoped people would understand and not judge her too harshly for this one mistake. Said the former first lady, "Joe and I were young and in love. One night our passion just got the better of us. I never told anyone until today. Only Joe and I knew and we swore we would keep it a secret forever."
There was no comment from the senator although a check of official records by Assimilated Press turned up a doctored birth certificate for Lieberman that showed that the year of his birth had been changed from 1924 to 1942, which would make him old enough to be the President's father. Assimilated Press also uncovered medical records for Lieberman that detailed numerous face-lifts and botox injections.
Washington insiders and political consultants agreed that this revelation from the matriarch of the Bush family explained Senator Lieberman's unwavering support for Bush since the president took office six years ago. Said Norman Ornstein of the American Enterprise Institute, "No Democrat except a fool or a father would have supported Bush's policies over the last six years and Lieberman is no fool."