Condoleeza Rice Pregnant With Bush's Child
Washington, D.C. - Assimilated Press has learned from highly placed sources within the State Department that Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice is several months pregnant with President Bush's child. This startling information is held by a small select group of insiders and is being treated as a closely guarded secret within the White House although its impact is already clearly being felt. Reportedly, First Lady Laura Bush has banished the President from the presidential bed and a furious Karl Rove is said to have gone ballistic over the possible political ramifications.
Rove is especially fearful over the negative reaction this may cause among conservative Christian voters should this news become public before the upcoming congressional elections. Hoping to limit the damage from such a disclosure, Rove has been in constant contact with religious leaders and media heads who are friendly to Bush and the Republican Party. They have agreed to treat any word of Rice's pregnancy as nothing more than lies and desperate campaign tactics from the Democrats.
Ms. Rice had gone for an examination because she had been feeling tired and was concerned that she had contracted a virus while on a recent trip overseas. She was said to be shocked when her doctor informed her that she was pregnant. The Secretary of State has told friends that she had assumed that pregnancy was almost impossible because of her age and that is why she and the President did not use any protection during their numerous sexual encounters.
White House Press Secretary Tony Snow has refused all requests to comment on the story.