U.S. Chamber Of Commerce Bought By China

Beijing, China - In what many are describing as a natural outgrowth of the present global economic climate, the People's Republic of China today announced that they have purchased the U.S. Chamber of Commerce for 1.7 billion dollars. Although the Chamber will maintain an official presence in Washington, D.C. for lobbying purposes most of its day to day operations will be outsourced to a work force in Bangalore, India in a cost-cutting move expected to save millions in operating expenses.

Explaining why the government of China decided to buy the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, President Hu Jintao said, "Since the vast majority of manufactured goods sold in America are made in China it seemed natural that we should purchase the U.S. Chamber of Commerce to use as our outreach source to Congress and the American public. Also, and this is very important, The U.S. Chamber of Commerce shares the values of the People's Republic of China. We both oppose child labor laws, minimum wages, safe working conditions, and regulations that protect the environment."

In response to questions about the deal, Thomas J. Donohue, CEO of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, said "We will do what we always do, except now we will do it for the People's Republic of China."