Friday, January 12, 2007

Geraldo Rivera Injured In Fight With Keith Olbermann

New York, New York - In a late night confrontation outside of the Carnegie Deli in Manhattan on Thursday, Fox News personality Geraldo Rivera appeared to bite off more than he could chew when he approached MSNBC journalist Keith Olbermann on the sidewalk in front of the legendary eating establishment. With a Fox News television crew in tow, Rivera ran up to Olbermann just as he was leaving the restaurant. Acting like a Cockapoo on crank, Rivera started yelling obscenities and taunts at Olbermann in an attempt to provoke him into a fight. Olbermann, who remained calm throughout the whole incident, seemed amused at the clownish antics of Rivera which only seemed to fuel the Fox News personality's anger.

Enraged at Olbermann's nonchalance, Rivera shouted "I'm gonna turn your face into a god damn pizza."

To which Olbermann laughingly replied, "Pizza! Wow, did you get one of the Fox News writers to jot down that witty line for you? You know what? I think it would work better if you changed the line to 'a portabella asiago calzone.' That is much more poetic and a lot more threatening. You know what I mean? If you had come up to me and said 'I'm gonna turn your face into a god damn portabella asiago calzone' then I would be really, really frightened, but as it is, you just look like a lame asshole who can't mouth a good threatening line."

This comment from Olbermann seemed to send Rivera over the edge. He completely lost control and took a vicious swing at the popular MSNBC anchor who gracefully took a step back to avoid the blow. Unfortunately for Rivera this was not the end of the story. His missed punch caused him to lose his balance. He tumbled forward and in the process threw out his back. The Fox camera crew then rushed to his aid and took the crying Rivera to Mount Sinai Hospital where he was treated and released several hours later.

In a gesture of generosity and good will, Keith Olbermann sent Geraldo Rivera a Prima Donna rose plant and a get well card in which he wrote "Prima Donna roses grow best in manure so this plant should thrive at Fox News."

4 Comments:

Anonymous Masala said...

Another excellent one, Virt!
Wait till Olbermann reads this. He'll love it.

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm with masala, virt. funny read ...

hourglass

12:53 AM  
Anonymous The Male Amazon said...

Great stuff, Virt! Only Keith Olbermann, who I consider to be the reincarnation of Edward R. Murrow, would face down Geraldo in that way.

But, then again, Geraldo was asking for it!

9:32 PM  
Anonymous john evans said...

olbermann was great on sportcenter with dan patrick. but thats where it ends. he is a joke, almost as big of a joke as this article, if you believe this trash i have some ocean front property in arizona to sale you.

1:19 PM  

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