Cheney Gives Wife Human Heart For Valentine's Day

Washington, D.C. - Vice President Dick Cheney's romantic side was on display today when he gave his wife Lynne a very special Valentine's day present, a human heart freshly removed from an Iraqi insurgent. Said Cheney, "I wanted to give her something special that I knew she would appreciate."

And appreciate it she did, "Dick is the most thoughtful man alive," gushed Lynne Cheney, "Nothing says I love you more than a man handing you an internal organ cut out of one of your enemies. It's the kind of gift Jack Bauer would give to his wife."

Not to be outdone, President Bush gave the First Lady a very special Valentine's day gift as well, the complete collection of torture videos from Abu Ghraib and a CD set containing all of the episodes from the first five seasons of the hit show 24.